Alice: Gokudera's Wonderland
by Chiri-tan
Summary: Haunted by the fire which killed his beloved Tenth, Gokudera made an appointment with a doctor to find the truth in his own mind. Only he never expected to find his mind, his wonderland, in shambles because of one Cheshire Cat that looks very much like his boss.


"_It has been a year, doctor. It has been a year since my boss died in that fire accident… it's all so fuzzy. I couldn't remember where I was in that night. Could it be that I'm the one responsible for his death…? "_

"_Has it, Signor Gokudera? Now, we shall delve within your mind. We shall see if it was really you who had caused the fire. Now, clear your mind and watch as I swing this key back and forth…"_

* * *

"Tenth…"

Those eyes. Gokudera remembered them as brown, and not yellow and slit like a cat. He remembered his boss as a clumsy no-good, and yet kind boss, not a nimble, catlike, but malicious-looking man. A grin made its way to his boss' face. "Hello, Alice. Long time no see." He licked his hand with his tongue. "Make your haste, dear Alice, you are very late."

Gokudera narrowed his eyes. Where is he? And he's not Alice; Alice is a woman's name. "Naughty Alice, hurry along. The Queen is waiting." Tsuna disappeared. Gokudera walked bristly to where he was.

The storm guardian couldn't believe it. His boss had died during one of the Vongola raids. And now, here he was. Different, yes. But it was him nonetheless.

"Hurry along, Alice." Tenth reappeared on top of a branch lazily. "Tenth!" Gokudera shouted to the branch. "Your shouting is annoying me, Alice. I am not the one you seek. I am one but memory. Maybe an audience with the Queen is in order, she might have the answers you seek." He disappeared again.

Gokudera looked around, but another nudge made its way to his back. "So very slow, Alice. Would you need me to push your every move for you?"

With another step taken, he was gone.

* * *

"_Tell me about him, signor Gokudera, tell me about your boss."_

"_The Tenth is the kindest person I've ever met. He is the only person I could trust with my life. He saves me from my solitude. He taught me friendship and loyalty. He is a person of no malice."_

* * *

"Welcome, Alice! It's time for tea!" Yamamoto looked happy, happier than Gokudera could even remember ever since the fire that killed Tsuna. "Come and sit down, Alice! The tea will run cold if you dawdle around!" Yamamoto bounced on his feet and sat down on the left side of the table.

Gokudera took the opposite seat of the head seat, the place where the host of the party would sit. "Have you returned for another tea? Or have you returned to make a plea?" A man with obsidian eyes, curly sideburn, and a decorative top hat appeared on the head of the table. "Searching for Cheshire Cat will take you nowhere, Alice. You need to move on."

"It's as Mad Hatter says, Alice," Yamamoto said as he took another sip of his tea. "What did Cheshire told you? Go and find the Queen? I don't think you will accomplish anything with that. Just stay here and join our tea party, Alice. Forget about him!"

Both Yamamoto and Reborn looked kind and accepting. But Gokudera couldn't just forget him. After all, it could be his fault that the Tenth died. It could.

"I won't ever forget him, baseball-nut, I can't."

Both Mad Hatter and Dormouse frowned. "Then your journey is ahead of you, Alice. And it won't be pleasant at all."

And the world collapsed around him, blasting him off to the abyss.

* * *

"_How have you been dealing with his death, signor Gokudera?"_

"_It was horrible. I couldn't think straight at all. Sometimes, I feel as if my world is shattered and my mind in shambles. I think I would have done so much worse if it were not for the baseball-freak and Reborn-san. They always comfort me, in their own ways."_

* * *

"The wonderland is on fire, Alice!" Enma Kozato shouts, panicking. "You must hurry to the Queen! Find him! Find the Cheshire Cat! He is the one who causes all of this!" Mock Turtle is crying and crying as fire envelops his domain. And suddenly, a shout made its way to them both he and Enma.

"Gryphon!" Enma cried as Adelheid Suzuki grabbed him by his hands. "Find him, Alice! And make him tell why the wonderland is on fire!"

The world collapsed again, and he found himself falling.

* * *

"_Please tell me about that night."_

"_It was a cold night, doctor." He mumbled. "It was so cold, and I thought that Tenth would want to have some kind of a warmth. The air conditioner is not working, so I thought that I should light the fireplace…"_

* * *

"It is all your fault, Alice." The red-dressed Bianchi said to him, her red eyes were fixed on his face, but he didn't feel like fainting at all. "This is all because you won't stop chasing after him. This is all because you won't stop chasing after the Cheshire Cat! Stop it and return our wonderland back to normal!"

His dream really out did itself this time. He didn't understand it at all. But, as the red castle collapse, he found himself on the building where the fire occurred.

"Oh no…"

He ran to where he should have been that night, right beside the Tenth. He should have. But… he found himself in front of the stove in the kitchen.

"Yeah, I made tea for the Tenth, thinking that it must be cold." But then, something happened. _Something he couldn't place his hands on… __**something.**_

"Running away, Alice?" Gokudera turned to face the yellow eyes on the familiar face. "Running away from the truth, are we? Do continue on. Please see with your own eyes." The Tenth grinned at him as he disappeared and reappeared beside him. "Go on. Kill me." He said, the grin never leaving his face.

Gokudera forced himself to see the truth in front of him. _"Forget about him, Alice!" _Yamamoto's voice echoed in his head. _"Stop chasing after the Cheshire Cat!" _Bianchi's voice boomed afterwards. _"Go on. Kill me." _The Tenth's voice was the loudest of them all.

Gokudera faced it for the first time. The truth.

* * *

"_What happened?"_

"_I was walking with the tea on my hand and a lantern on my other hand. I was walking to the Tenth's room. And then I reach the wooden door. And then Uri knocked me over and…"_

* * *

"You killed me, Gokudera-kun." A Cheshire grin made its way to the Cheshire Cat's face. "And now I will destroy your wonderland with guilt, as you have destroyed my life with your jilt!"

* * *

"_Fire made its way to his door, doctor. I was panicking, so I tried to open the door and I shout. But fire gets into me and I was afraid. I was afraid of my own death that I abandoned the Tenth to die by himself."_

* * *

"Ah, back again, Alice?" The brown eyes might have gone, but he was still alive. His boss. His Tenth. He was alive here, inside Gokudera's mind. "I'm not Alice, Tenth." He said confidently as he made his way to the grinning cat-like man.

His boss was still as short as he remembered, the only feature that was different was the striped tail attached on his bottom. Gokudera smiled at the malicious-looking cat, relieved. "As am I not Tenth, not-Alice. I assume you have made your decision?" A happy smile made its way to Gokudera's face. A smile he could never manage when the Tenth was not there. But now, here he was.

"Yeah, I decided that I would stay here with you."

His boss grinned madly. "You would indeed, Alice… welcome to the Wonderland. And this time… forever you shall stay within its madness."

* * *

_Yamamoto stood in front of the hospital room, frowning and clenching his hands in fury. "We knew that he was the culprit… but we never wanted to say it." He said to Bianchi, who looked to the floor like it was the most interesting thing in the world. "I never expected him to make an appointment with a doctor by himself." Yamamoto clicked his tongue. "He ran away from the reality." Bianchi said sadly. _

"_He is in coma, and I don't think he will wake. Ever again." _

"_Well, at least he's dreaming of him. He's with Tsuna now, I know he is."_

* * *

A small gray cat jumped to the windowsill where a certain storm guardian was sleeping. It looked to the sleeping silver-head with a malicious glint on its yellow eyes.

The cat jumped to the tube that kept the silver-head alive and scratched it until it was broken. And then he sounded the alarm before jumping away to the nearest tree. It yawned and licked his hands with its tongue. When nurses came into the room panicking, a wide grin made its way to the cat's face.

"_Now you shall never wake from the twisted wonderland, Alice. This is my revenge. Wander well, my dear little Alice… my dear little Gokudera-kun."_

And Cheshire disappeared with a grin upon his face.


End file.
